Online CBT for adults whose high standards, fear of failure or self-criticism are starting to take over.

Perfectionism can look productive from the outside.

You may work hard, achieve a lot and hold yourself to high standards. But underneath that can sit a constant sense that you should be doing more, doing better or avoiding mistakes altogether.

You might spend too long checking your work, put things off because you’re worried they won’t be good enough, compare yourself with other people, or struggle to switch off once something is finished.

Even when things go well, the relief often doesn’t last.

CBT for perfectionism focuses on understanding the rules and behaviours that keep this cycle going, then testing out more flexible ways of working, performing and evaluating yourself.

When high standards become a problem

Having high standards isn’t necessarily a problem.

Perfectionism becomes more difficult when your self-worth depends heavily on meeting those standards, and when falling short feels like failure rather than something ordinary and manageable.

You may notice things like:

• spending far longer on tasks than other people

• repeatedly checking or correcting your work

• procrastinating because starting feels risky

• avoiding tasks where you might not perform well

• feeling anxious about mistakes or criticism

• comparing yourself constantly with other people

• struggling to recognise success

• moving the goalposts after you achieve something

• feeling guilty when you rest

• being much harsher with yourself than you would be with someone else

• believing that anything less than your best is unacceptable

The problem isn’t simply that you “care too much”.

It’s usually the system underneath it.

The perfectionism cycle

Perfectionism often runs on a set of rigid assumptions:

“If I don’t do this properly, I’ve failed.”

“I should always be productive.”

“If someone sees a mistake, they’ll think less of me.”

“Good enough isn’t good enough.”

These beliefs can lead to behaviours such as over-preparing, excessive checking, reassurance seeking, procrastination and avoidance.

Those behaviours can reduce anxiety in the short term.

But they also prevent you from finding out whether the standards were actually necessary in the first place.

The result is often a cycle:

High standards → pressure and anxiety → checking, overworking or avoidance → short-term relief → standards remain unchanged

CBT aims to interrupt that cycle.

How CBT for perfectionism works

Treatment isn’t about making you careless or lowering every standard you have.

The aim is to help you distinguish between helpful striving and rules that are so rigid they make your life smaller.

We may work on:

• identifying the standards and rules you apply to yourself

• understanding how perfectionism developed and what keeps it going

• reducing excessive checking and over-preparation

• tackling procrastination and avoidance

• testing beliefs about mistakes and failure

• learning to complete tasks to a realistic standard

• reducing comparison and reassurance seeking

• broadening the areas of life that contribute to your self-worth

• developing a more balanced response to setbacks

• reducing self-criticism

A lot of the work happens between sessions.

That might involve deliberately submitting something without checking it again, stopping work at a set time, allowing a small mistake to remain, or testing what actually happens when you aim for good enough rather than perfect.

The point isn’t to convince yourself that mistakes don’t matter.

It’s to find out whether the consequences you fear are actually as severe as perfectionism predicts.

Perfectionism and self-esteem

Perfectionism often overlaps with low self-esteem.

You may have learned, explicitly or implicitly, that being successful, useful, productive or impressive is what makes you worthwhile.

That can create a fairly brutal arrangement:

When you succeed, you briefly feel acceptable.
When you struggle, your whole view of yourself takes a hit.

Therapy can therefore involve looking beyond performance itself and examining the rules you use to judge your value as a person.

This is particularly relevant if you recognise a strong inner critic, difficulty accepting praise, or a tendency to dismiss your achievements.

Who I work with

I work with adults experiencing perfectionism alongside difficulties such as:

• anxiety

• low self-esteem

• self-criticism

• procrastination

• work-related stress

• fear of failure

• obsessive checking

• social anxiety

• depression

You don’t need to know whether “perfectionism” is the right label before getting in touch.

We can use an initial consultation to understand what’s happening and whether CBT looks like a sensible fit.

What to expect

Sessions are online and usually last 50 minutes.

We’ll start by building a shared understanding of the patterns causing difficulty and what appears to be maintaining them.

From there, treatment is structured around your goals.

That means sessions won’t just involve talking about the week. We’ll use what happens in your everyday life to test the beliefs and behaviours keeping the problem going.